Just This Once
by Erendhyl
Summary: Just this one time, I wanted to be the one who was there for her. Just this once, I wanted to tell her what I really wished to say. Just this once, I promised myself. Just allow me this one moment of happiness. SasuSaku


Just This Once

**Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I do not own Naruto, wow that was random.**

**A/N: This is set at the point where the manga currently is, where Sasuke and Itachi are fighting. If you have not seen this, I advise you not to read this story, because you will not understand what's going on.**

That man stands over me, a look of triumph adorning the face that haunts my nightmares. I try to raise my aching head to glare at him, but only succeed in moaning in agony at how much even that small movement hurts. He crouches down so that his head is almost level with my own, knowing that I am too beaten to attack him further. I duck my head slightly, so that my bangs fall across my face, covering my expression so that he does not get the satisfaction of seeing the despair so apparent there.

I am not to be allowed even that small consolation. He cups my chin in one of his dirty hands, lifting my head and forcing me to look him in the eyes. There is slight pity there, but it only succeeds in furthering my hatred of this man.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," he whispers. It's evident from the pain in his voice that he is sincere, yet I remain unmoved. I turn my head away, wincing slightly, so that I am not forced to stare into the pitying eyes of that man any longer. Itachi does not accept this, though. He turns my head back so that I am facing him again, all traces of victory gone from his face to be replaced by a profound sorrow. "I would have preferred that it not have to be this way," he continues. "However, Madara must be brought down, and if that will require your sacrifice, then I am prepared to kill you. I know that forgiveness is too much to ask, but I wish that you could find it in your heart to understand why this must be done." Heh, find it in my heart to understand. Find it in what heart? Any heart I had was broken long ago, shattered into tiny little pieces, by him.

He sees the decision in my face, the cold resolve not to even try to understand or forgive him. I close my eyes, refusing to even glance at him. He sighs sadly before lifting my face once more. Again, he says it.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke." A single cold tear falls upon my face, speaking of Itachi's true pain at what he will do to me next. That does not make it any easier to bear. He pries open my left eye with his evil fingers, the hands stained by the blood of our parents.

What follows is blinding pain. I am screaming without willing it, without even knowing. All I know is the pain as my eye is ripped from its socket. My hand does not have the strength to move to cover my wound, as would be my natural reaction, so instead I scrunch up my empty socket against the blood welling up in it. With my remaining eye, I glare up at the man before my. He looks sadly down at me before plucking out his own left eye and replacing it with mine. I fight down a feeling of nausea.

Almost instantly, the effects of the transplant are apparent. His eye seems brighter, and I know that his vision has cleared up. Such is the gift of the eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. For only the small price of pain on the part of your sibling as they watch their own eyes be ripped out and replace your own, the blindness that plagues all those who use the Mangekyo vanishes. Itachi can see perfectly once again.

"Now for the other one," he tells me. I flinch back as he reaches his hand forward, rebelliously closing my remaining eye and cringing like a frightened child. I cannot help it. The thought of losing my other eye as well scares even me, so that I am reduced to showing fear to the man I resolved to face with no emotion save for my hatred. He sees this and appears sympathetic, though he does not let it distract him from his task.

"I wish that it did not have to be so, Sasuke." _Why then, Itachi? Nii-san, why are you doing this to me?_

Almost before it even happens, I am screaming again, screaming with pain and fear and sorrow. I confess, even in the depths of my hatred, even though I have tried to rid myself of my emotions, some dark, hidden part of me had always remembered how kind Itachi was to me as a child. That part of me had always clung to the hope, however foolish, that when the time for the final battle came, my big brother would return to being the Itachi I had idolized as a boy. I am screaming now as I realize that no matter how hard I tried to exist solely with my hatred, that part of me still existed, and now my heart is being broken all over again.

I open my eyes to stare into darkness. I know that I opened them, for I felt the muscles of my eyelids move as the repealed to expose my dark orbs. It is not night, and the hideout that our battle took place in was lit. I ponder this riddle for a minute before it hits me. I did open my eyes, there was just nothing left to see with. Both of my eyeballs are gone, taken from me by Itachi. I cannot see anything because I have nothing to see it with. I am blind.

"Goodbye, Sasuke," Itachi's voice whispered from just in front of me, his breath tickling my face. Gently he flicks my forehead, not to cause me any additional pain, but to give me a sense of comfort. In the far away days of my youth, when he would flick me in the head as he told me that he could not help me train today because he was busy. He does this now, in an attempt to awaken those childhood memories and to ease my pain. It does not help in the slightest. Bloody tears fall from my empty sockets. I hear the rustle of fabric as Itachi gets up and walks away, leaving me alone in this new darkness. My body is a house of torment, from the pain in my empty eye sockets to the numerous other wounds I received during the course of our battle.

I do not know for how long I lie there, alone, wrapped in the new darkness, crying bloody tears into the endless shadows that now make up the entirety of my world. All I know is that after a time, I drift into a fitful sleep, in which my mind is haunted by those last few moments of sight, allowing me to relive with blinding clarity as Itachi once again plucks out my eyes to use as his own. When I awaken, there are voices, and though I cannot see, I know who it is.

"Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan, it's him! It's Sasuke!" The first voice shouts eagerly. _Naruto._

"Sasuke-kun," a second, female, voice all but sobs. _Sakura._

"It'll be alright, Sasuke," says the last voice. _Kakashi._

I nod, turning my sightless eyes to the direction of his voice. I wish I could see him now, and Naruto and Sakura as well, to see if they have changed at all during the years of our separation.

I hear the rustle of fabrics as someone sits down beside me. I am about to ask why when suddenly the aches from my wounds begin to leave me, and I can feel new skin forming to cover up the exposed flesh. I moan softly, and the person moves their healing to my damaged face, closing the minor cuts I have there before at last turning their attention to my empty sockets. Without speaking, they gently stroke the delicate skin beside the gaping holes, tender affection evident in the gesture.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun, but nothing can be done," Sakura's voice all but sobs from above me.

"Nothing?" I ask her, feeling empty inside at the thought of never again being able to see the world, never seeing the gates of the village as I reenter them for the first time in over three years, never seeing my old home, the Uchiha Compound one last time, never again seeing Naruto's stupid grin… never seeing how much she grew. Never again, I would never be able to see any of it again.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun," she told me again. I bow my head as little pinpricks of blood fall again, all that I have left for tears. They land on my chest, and I feel the cold wetness of my own blood.

Warm arms wrap themselves around me, giving a sense of comfort and security. Sakura's voice is gently telling me that it will all be alright. I bury my head in the fabric of her shirt, weeping now for her. Always when I was hurt, no matter when, Sakura would be there beside me, holding my hand and trying to ease the pain. Now, three years later and nothing was changed. She still had to be hurt because of me, by me. I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke, the pain that I was hurt and she could do nothing to ease it. Why did she always feel that it was her fault? It was not by her error that I had been hurt, yet she shouldered the blame all the same. Why was that? Why was it that I would always be the one to hurt her, to turn my back on her, to leave her when she needed me, and yet she would always help me? Why did she never show anger or hatred toward me for what I continued to do to her? I deserved for her to hate me, and yet she didn't. Why was that?

I must have spoken my wonderings aloud, for she answered the question.

"Sasuke-kun, I could never hate you or abandon you. I couldn't. I love you too much." Somehow, the fact that she could still love me after all I had done to her only made it worse. I was crying harder now, the tears of my blood falling in earnest. She still loved me. She still loved me, when I had long ago given up the hope that she would wait for me. I wished that I could see her face now. I wished that I could see the woman that she had grown into. I wished that I could look her in the eye and tell her that I loved her too.

I could do none of those things. I did not deserve her. She was pure and kind. I was dark and twisted, a demon far more than Naruto had ever been. I could never claim her as mine. I could only turn her away, so that she could be with another, more deserving man, one who would not only cause her pain. I told myself this, and it only made it all the worse. I wanted to do nothing more than to be there for her, just this once. Just this once, I wished that I did not have to hurt her in order to protect her.

"I'll always be here for you, Sasuke-kun." How I wished that I could say the same. How I wished that I could be the one to hold her when she was hurt, to be the one who loved her. Just this one time, I wanted to be the one allowed to be there for her. Just this once, I wanted to tell her what I really wished to say to her when she told me that. Just this once, I promised myself. Just allow me this one moment of happiness.

"I'll always be here for you, Sakura," I told her drowsily. I wish that I could have seen her face then. I knew that for the first time, I had made her smile.


End file.
